Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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