So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
