When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize