to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
