I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
