in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
