I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
