I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
