so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
