I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
