His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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