remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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