people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He? As in you personified your dick?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize