her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
