please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
