have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
