He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Someone shattered a urinal.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Randomize
