theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
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