I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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