went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize