We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
He better not be in your backpack
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
