This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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