a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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