dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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