I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
