lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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