I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize