I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
