Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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