nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
