I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
