I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
