So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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