I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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