I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
