i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
