I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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