One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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