Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
