i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
