paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
