Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Shame - the story of my life.
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