I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
