just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
