Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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