Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
