I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
