sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
