He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
