Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize