So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
