You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize