but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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