oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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