Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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