For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
