Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
