Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
