it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
