Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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