Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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